Stan's Game
by Lunatic of a Third Kind
Summary: A currently one-shot of a couple of buddies trying to turn Final Fantasy Tactics Advance into a tabletop experience. That's rather the definition of "too much time on your hands," isn't it?


Well, here I am, trying once again to write a story. Let's hope I don't screw it up this time, aye? I do not own any entertainment mediums possibly mentioned in this fan fiction. You'll probably hate the writing style anyway and leave.

You might need this:

**"Bold"** - Stan's Dungeon Mastering mode.

* * *

"Alright, does everyone have their character sheet?" 

There was a great shuffling of papers, before a chorus of voices sounded out a confirmation.

"Can we PLEASE start now?"

"Marc, shut up, and we WILL!"

"...Right. Erh, we've got the dice too?"

"For the fifth time, Stan, YES!"

"Let me just get the screen in place.."

**"The pungent stench of mildew emanates from the dank dungeon walls-"**

"What?"

"Erh, sorry, wrong one..."

Another shuffling of papers ensued, but before the wayward game could begin again the doorbell rang.

"Stan! There's someone else here to see you!"

"Let them in!"

"You didn't say anyone else was coming..."

"Yeah, well, someone else is coming. Happy?"

"You were stalling us, weren't you?"

"Ask me no questions, and I tell you no lies, gentlemen."

The door opened, and a black-haired girl smiled as she stepped inside.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Nope. Take a seat, take a sheet."

"Thank you."

"So, uh, where was I...Ahah! Ahem..."

**"As the class files outside and into the snow-covered schoolyard, the teacher blows a whistle that sends everyone scurrying into two teams. Mewt, Marche, Harriett, and a boy named Colin are on one side, while on the other is Ritz, Guinness, Lyle, and Leona. Colin glances around in disgust, muttering about being on the 'weak team', before setting his gaze on Mewt and smiling maliciously."**

"Question, oh-great-DM-that-is-Stan."

"What?"

"Why am I a girl?"

"...Tom, all you have to do is throw snowballs at the other team."

"Yes, but--"

"For Christ's sake, Tom! You'll only have this character for a little while! It doesn't matter!"

"Alright, alright!"

Stan sighed, shuffled his papers some more, before glancing over his screen at everyone. The newcomer, Tasha, was looking rather antsy, while Tom glaring at his character sheet. Roger just looked bored, and Marc was fiddling with some of the dice.

Of course, Marc's cellphone decided to ring right when Stan was about to say something.

The sound of the Final Fantasy 7 Victory Tune echoed in the room until Marc had managed to fish his phone out of his bag on the floor.

"Uhm, hello? ... Oh, Millie, it's you! Yeah, I'm at Stan's, you know, catching up on old times ... Oh, yeah, I can do that. Right. Well, I better run. Love you too. Bye ... Yeah. Well, bye."

After Marc ended the call, he looked at the rest of the group sheepishly. "Sorry, gang, but I can't stay much longer. Let's hurry, then?"

Stan grabbed his notes with a hurried "Right!" and started up again.

**"Colin walked over to Mewt and gave him a shove, commenting loudly about the boy not carrying the bear he usually took everywhere. Lyle and Guinness took their cue, chiming in with their own thoughts. Before anything worse could happen, however, the teacher blew his whistle again, before shooting a dark look the boys' ways. "Colin, you may switch teams with someone before we begin. Will anyone switch with him?""**

"Oh! That's me, right? Erh..I glare at Colin and stand on the side of Mewt's team."

**"Colin sniffed haughtily, sauntering over to the other team. The teacher blew his whistle a third time, declaring the snowball fight's start!"**

"Right...Now, roll for initiative."

The sound of rolling dice filled the air.

"Okay, so add your result to your base speed and the person with the highest number goes first. I'll go ahead and do that, too..."

Stan peaked over his screen again at the results, then looked at his own.

"So Tasha, you got the highest number. Go ahead and throw a snowball or something."

"Right! Erh..." Tasha looked at the nine character tokens on the grid laying on the table, before grinning. "Can I hit the teacher with a snowball?"

"Yes, but-"

"I throw a snowball at the teacher, and drop behind the snowbank in front of me!"

**"The teacher, Mr. Leslaie, who didn't expect such an attack, could only dust the snow off before trying to spot his attacker.."**

Stan quickly rolled a dice as he paused.

**"..And doesn't see anyone who could've done it. He went back to refereeing the game."**

"Stan! Stan! Can _I _throw a snowball at the teacher?"

"...Shut up and throw a snowball."

"Right-o. I beam myself in the head with a snowball."

"_Roger._"

"Okay, okay! Geez ...I throw a snowball at that gay blonde kid over there."

"_**Roger.**_"

"_**Stan.**_"

There was a brief silence, then Tom discretely switched his and Roger's character sheets.

"Uhm, I throw a snowball at Colin."

"Tom, it's not your turn."

"Yes it is. See? I have Mewt's character sheet."

"Nice try. Give Roger the sheet back, Tom."

"You mean my master plan _failed?_"

After Roger got his character sheet back, he looked at it, then frowned.

"Mewt's got such suck-ass stats I won't even HIT whoever I throw the snowball at. Therefore, I may as well toss it at Colin like Tom said."

"Yay!"

"Shut up, Tom. Now, I roll the dice...DAMMIT!"

**"Colin gave out an indignant noise as Mewt's snowball splattered across his face."**

"Stop rubbing it in!"

"I'm DMing, Roger, as is my job in this fun little adventure."

"It's MARCHE'S TURN! Alright, Colin, let's see how you like getting a snowball in that open mouth of yours."

**"Colin bent down to brush the ice off his face, and Marche's snowball sailed over his head and hit a branch on the tree a bit behind him. The snow on the branch was knocked off, and it covered Leona."**

"But I wanted to hit _Colin._"

"Well, Marc, you rolled a 1. Seeing as I couldn't have you impale yourself, I just did away with one of my turns."

"Hey, wait a second! You screwed over the wrong team!"

"Shush, Roger. Tom's eying your character sheet again."

"No I'm not! Anyway, I throw a snowball at Lyle."

"**Lyle quickly turned around after the snowball hit his back. He scowled at Harriet, before throwing a snowball back at her-"**

"No! I duck, I duck!"

"Let me finish, Tom."

"**But as she started to move out of the way, it hit its intended target, Mewt."**

"Poor Mewt. He needs better reflexes."

"That would've hit you if he'd been aiming for you."

"**Colin and Guinness both shot out of their hiding places after the first hit, and the three started lobbing snowball after snowball at Mewt. A missile from Lyle sent the boy to the ground, clutching his forehead in pain."**

"What a candy-ass."

"Shut up, Roger."

"Oh, SHIT!"

Everyone looked at Marc, who'd jumped out of his seat. Even Stan was giving him a withering glance over his screen.

"I have to leave, and I have to leave ten minutes ago! BYE!"

He dashed out of the room, leaving the group to silence.

Roger started to get up.

Stan gave him a look.

Roger glared at Stan.

Tasha sighed, pushed over Stan's screen, then started to steer Stan out of the room by his shoulders.

Tom sighed, and was about to steer Roger out of the room by his shoulders.

Roger hissed at Tom.

Tom backed out of the room slowly.

Roger pushed his chair in, scowled at Mewt's character sheet, and left the room.

* * *


End file.
